[Marriage Series] Loving Complaints Require Self Examination :: Step Two

Step Two: Own Your Part. Ask yourself what was going on in you when
the incident occurred. Are you sensitive to embarrassment or criticism?
Do you care too much what others think? Are you defensive? Look for
the part in you that made this event even harder than it might have been.
Even if she was clearly wrong, how did your temperament make it even
harder. Hint: If it was uncomfortable enough for you to want to confront
your wife over it, your buttons were very likely pushed. Your buttons are
your soft spots.

Showing Love

I challenge you to show your spouse one unexpected act of love today. Why not?

[Marriage Series] Loving Complaints Require Self Examination :: Step One

Step One: What is your motivation? Its hard to be honest about this
one. Often, our primary goal is to let our spouse know how wrong they
were. We’ve been hurt and simply want to issue a strong reprimand. We
give them some of the pain they caused us back to them in the form of
anger. We may also want to punish them for what they’ve done. We want
them to know how wrong they were so they won’t hurt us again. Right?
While these are understandable human motivations, they are not founded
in love, and leave out the heart of our spouse and they will never lead to a
closer more loving relationship. I think the goal should be restoration and
mutual growth. This goal changes everything.

Welcome!

Welcome to Christian Heart Counseling's blog. We will be posting on various subjects focusing on biblical teachings and the latest clinical research. Our hope is that in this blog you will find an empathetic ear and see our love for the ones we serve. If you are in the Twin Cities Metro or surrounding areas, we hope to meet with you in person. We desire to see healing in the lives of those we touch. Once again, welcome to our blog and feel free to ask questions!